“I am the light of the world” – Jesus

Greenbelt was a transforming experience for me. I can’t explain it and I’m not going to try but I’m different from having experienced it. It’s amazing. We’re booking tickets for next year already. There’s lots of stuff going on. Arts. Music. Talks. Challenging. Disconcerting. Risky. People honestly grappling with uncertainty about long held Christian traditions. Humble people. Courageous people. Wrestling with the bible. Wrestling with their/our ideas about God. And about faith. And humanity. I didn’t agree with everybody but I realised we all had the same goal of living the truth. And a willingness to invest heavily in a personal sense. I also realised that there is so much I don’t know but often pretend I do. Pretend to myself and to others in varying degrees. Instead of sticking with the uncertainty and taking things from there. I need a spiritual overhaul. And it’s actually already begun. Some months ago. I’m hoping it will never end. I have new questions about faith. As well as the trillions I always have with me, although some of those have been turned upside down. I have lots of wrestling to do. It’s exciting. And a bit scary.

I was inspired by Peter Rollins, Brian McClaren, John Bell and Richard Burridge. Their talks are all downloadable from the greenbelt site for £2-£3 each.

I also did a self portrait. I don’t like it. But I do think it looks like me.

Ten Minutes Each…Approximately!

I also made these today. I had to go to the hairdresser this morning. Although Penny is very lovely, I hate going. I hate everything about the hairdressers. The chairs. The equipment. The towels. The uniforms. Those cloak things they stick on you. It all gives me the creeps. I’d rather go to the dentist. As well as being very lovely, Penny is very pregnant. Hopefully, this means that soon she will be moving out of the salon and into mobile hairdressing. I am very very pleased. Anyway, this morning I had about forty minutes to spare before my appointment. I made these bunnies. And a few others. Ridiculously simple. Very very quick. And quite sweet.

Bunny Bits and Pieces

More crafty stuff today. Rabbits. The same pattern I’ve used for most of the rabbits I’ve made recently. But these one’s are smaller. I managed to sew one of them up this evening whilst watching an episode of Doctor Who. I watched almost a whole series today. It was the one with Christopher Ecclestone and Billie Piper. The Doctor is actually quite horrible. Heartless almost. But Rose is lovely. And funny. And makes the series worthwhile. Leah stayed last night. She likes Doctor Who aswell. Hence me digging out the tape. I love Leah. Have I said that before? She’s fab.

I might get to sew up more bunnies tomorrow. I also did a bit of exercise on the air walker and listened to Jars of Clay - Redemption Songs at the same time. I am particularly enjoying the following tracks at moment:

• On Jordan’s Stormy Banks I Stand
• It is well with my soul
• I’ll Fly Away

I can’t really explain why. They make me feel quite excited. But I’m not entirely sure what about. And they maybe put me in touch with who I am a bit. I’m not really sure that quite captures what I mean at all but it’ll do. You can listen to those three full tracks here. And some of the others.

I’m looking forward to greenbelt this weekend. I’ve never been before. There’s loads of music. Lots of music of lots of different sorts. And interesting talks. I’d quite like to hear what Philip Yancey has to say. I like him because he doesn’t seem afraid to grapple with questions of disappointment, doubt and failure. I’ve got a lot of time for him. And there’s another guy, a philosopher, Keith Ward. I want to hear his talk aswell ”why there is almost certainly a God”. There’s also some guy talking about postmodern christianity. I can’t remember his name but I’d like to catch that. There’s multimedia presentations that I’d like to grab a peek at. And there’s beer.

What more could anyone possibly want from a weekend? Showers maybe!

Been Sewing Today and Reflecting on Being a Christian

 

I’m making bunnies. Surprise surprise! I do love bunnies. I may make them some non-bunny friends. I’ve been working on a pattern. Well patterns. A horse. An elephant. A cat. A dog. A bear. And a monkey. These are actually Christmas prezzies. I probably won’t have much time before Christmas. Study study study. Almost in year two. I’ve loved year one. Not every minute of it. That would be silly. But a big chunk of it. I was thinking this morning how my confidence has grown. Good feedback on placements. Decent enough marks on essays and stuff. It makes me think maybe I could be a good mental health nurse. As opposed to an okay one. Confidence is a funny thing. When it grows in one area of your life, it kind of spreads out into others. I’ve noticed it. It’s good. I was also thinking about my faith today. It’s a funny thing faith. It doesn’t really count for much unless it goes hand in hand with a bit of doubt. And that’s something I excel at. I question everything. Not deliberately. I just do. I see the gaps in arguments. I see the other angle that changes the explanation sometimes. It’s a bugger. It really is. The thing that makes me feel okay is that I don’t hold God in my hands or my head. He holds me. So in some ways it doesn’t really matter what I think. Whether my faith and my doubts are strong or weak it makes no odds really. It won’t make God hold me any tighter. I’m okay either way. It’s how He feels about me that counts. And that’s been made crystal clear. I often say I’m a rubbish Christian. Because I am. My faith is often not visible to others. I don’t mention it very often. I feel the full range of emotions not just joy. I feel very insecure at times. And I get really annoyed. I sometimes swear. And I’m really really lazy . But inside things are so much different. I love more frequently and more deeply. And I’m much more honest. There’s things I used to enjoy that I now just don’t want anything to do with. And there’s a deep sense of being okay whatever happens in life. I trust God. Even when He seems very far away and it all seems a bit cold and dark. Which for me, and probably millions of others, is quite often.

Purple is associated with nobility and spirituality. It’s also fantastic. I love it. A lot.

I ironed my purple goodies. It was most satisfying. I also washed these in the washing machine. They were most filthy. Now they are exceptionally clean.

Family Night Out

This was Friday night with the Pooles. We had a lovely time. Emma cooked in their kitchen. It was delicious. Their home is beautiful. You have to take your shoes off and everything. Or they throw you out. Then we went visiting. Our friends all have lovely homes too.

  

We had wine at George and Mary’s. They’re very kind and generous folk. The new settee is leather. They haven’t got cats so it should look fantastic for years. Not like ours! I should really have included them in the photographs. How rude of me.

 

It was tea and biscults at Paul and Dave’s. Dave’s doesn’t drink. Anymore. Thanks goodness. The less said and all that. I was a bit unsure about the sofa when they described it but it actually looks pretty good. Quite comfy too. I think it was from IKEA. Rob and Sarah have just moved into a fantasic apartment in town. Me and Emma want a corner sofa like theirs. Orange is a very happy colour. And I’m in love with fake flowers. I wanted to take them home. But they were watching when I put my coat on. I’ve just realised I didn’t get any pictures of them either. In fact I didn’t get any of anyone. Oops.

  

Ian and Leah snuggled up to watch a bit of the olympics at Mary’s. I couldn’t tell you what because I didn’t really take any notice. I love Mary’s house. It’s very child friendly even though she has no kids. And you’re not scared to put your feet up and relax. Leah had a little play at Ravinder’s house. On accout the kids have a proper playroom. Leah was knackered. She even had a nap in the girls room. They were at their dads for the weekend. I’m sure they won’t mind.

 

 

Actually we were all quite tired. It was a very long evening. Fun though. Must do it again soon There’s a few more photos here.

More Purple Goodies

At my last placement, I wore something purple every day. No reason really. The first couple or three days, I didn’t even think about it. But then the people I was working with – service users or whatever word you prefer – started to notice and comment on it. It became a bit of a useful engagement tool. So I kind of felt obliged to continue. By the end, I actually really quite liked the idea of having a few purple items just for work. Kind of like my own little uniform. I think I shall continue the theme in my next placement. I do love purple anyway. It makes me happy. Bizarrely.

The trouble is I didn’t really have much of it. One pair of purple linen trousers, a smart collared t-shirt, a sleeveless shirt, a v-neck jumper and a spotty cardigan. New purple DM shoes. Well, new to me. I didn’t wear them all together obviously. I mixed them with black. It was manageable with only working three days a week but my next placement will be monday to friday.

Anyway I went to primark yesterday after handing in my essay. Leah came with me. I think she got fed up after a short while. Bless her. I got a couple of white shirts – one plain and one with fancy stitching – and a purple tanktop. I decided to dye the shirts. Rooting around the house, I found another white shirt I’ve never worn, a pair of linen trousers I’ve worn once, a long sleeved indian-style white top which I like but just never get round to putting on, and a couple of t-shirts. I stuck them all in the machine with an old bunny I made ages ago. It didn’t suit being cream. I didn’t like it at all. I like it now it’s purple.

Just waiting for them all to dry.

PhotoShooting and PhotoShopping

Leah wanted some up-to-date pics for her MSN so we had a bit of a photo shoot in the garden. It was fun. I photoshopped a couple of the pictures. On account that I have no homework now. And I have two weeks off.

I like the results.

This is my favourite. The original was pretty good also.

I played around with this one. I actually prefer this version.

I just like this one. I like her pose.

When Grandma Lil Came to Stay…..

Emma’s Grandma Lil came to stay a week or so ago. It was one of those spur of the moment things. She’s never been to our house before. Grandma Lil is a proper granny. She’s the right size and shape and everything. You just want to hug her. She even watches telly really loud. We went for lunch at the Taybarns. It’s one of those places you can eat all you like for a small amount of pennies. I ate rather a lot. But, in my defence a lot of it was salad. Except for the chocolate fudge cake. And proofiteroles. And ice cream with chocolate sauce. It was yummy though.

Grandma Lil ate three puddings. The first one was ice cream with a few sweets and a bit of sauce. The second one was just sweets. Can you believe it? A whole bowl of sweets. She couldn’t finish them so she stole them. In a napkin. I caught her in the act of slipping them in her bag. Then she had a big chocolate fudge cake. It’s hardly surprising she had indigestion!

Emma really loves grandma Lil. I think she’s quite nice too. I hope she comes to stay again.

 

 

 

I LOVE this kitty cat!